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You raised your hand from the box and pulled out a small hammer. It seemed to be a replica of the hammer John had always used as a weapon. You smiled to yourself, knowing that being in the closet with your goofy friend Egbert would certainly be a time to remember.

“Aye, Egderp! Get your ass up here!” Dave shouted, nearly tripping over himself. Dave was pretty hilarious when he was drunk, and gog damn was he drunk.

You watched as John navigated his way to the front. He stood in front of you, the usual toothy grin plastered on his face. “Oh, hey [Name]! Are you excited?”

Before you could even think of answering, Dave pushed the two of you in the closet and shut the door. You muttered ‘yeah’ under your breath to answer John’s question, but you were pretty sure he didn’t hear.

“So, what do you want to do in here for seven minutes?” John asked. This couldn’t help but make you giggle. John was so clueless to stuff like this. You personally thought it was adorable, but you didn’t want to tell him that to his face.

You simply shrugged. Maybe soon he would figure it out.

“Well, maybe we could... have a tickle fight!”

Within seconds, John had jumped on top of you, reaching straight for your ribs. You were cackling loudly as he tickled your sides, making you twitch and flail. As much as you tried to get away, he only came closer to you.

Tears were about to pour down your face. “J-John! S-Stop!” You cried, laughing in between words.

“Never!” He shouted back, grinning at your laughter.

“J-John! I can b-barely breath!”

John blinked, and quickly stopped tickling you. He thought it was pretty funny, but he didn’t want to hurt you or anything. He rested his hands at his sides and looked at your reddened face.

“Are you okay?”    

You slowly nodded. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

John leaned in closer to you. Your noses were practically touching. Now your face was not only red from lack of breath, but also from embarrassment. John’s face had a small tint of red as well. Suddenly, he dove in and kissed you. His lips didn’t taste like beer... in fact, they didn’t really have a taste - but they certainly made you feel as if you were floating.

“John, you can’t just go around doing the windy thing whenever you want,” Dave scolded in the now-open doorway.

You opened your eyes to realize that you didn’t feel like you were floating - you were floating. John was making you float in the air with him. You squealed and clutched John’s chest as tight as you could, afraid of simply falling out of the sky.

“Put me down, put me down, put me down,” You muttered, not daring to look around.
John grinned. “Can I at least float you up to the bedroom?”
Here's John's! Sorry I haven't posted many of these... blah, I dunno, I'm not good at thinking of different scenarios for ALL of these people, dammit :l
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one! Hopefully I'll finish all of the first parts during the summer and we can finally get down and dirty ;)

Intro: [link]
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iiHomestuckSlap Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2016
odayum lucky johnny~ Double Pistols and a Wink
DrFlygon Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
manytrash Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i thought it said bathroom and i was like "ooh, shower porn!!"
HeyitsmeJuliaB Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
ey bby lemme float u to da bedroom 
Mime-Boy Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*dies at the last line*
fanficwriter1987 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2015
THE LAST LINE Double Pistols and a Wink 
MTMira Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
*crowd cheering* EGDERP! EGDERP! EGDERP!
LyricaDeCleff Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Student Artist
This is literally what I think John would be like in romantic situations like this. First, he would just play it innocently, then, he'd go for the kill. 
satiricScythe Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
MusictheLazyDrawer Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Student General Artist
So smooooth
HikaruMokona Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2015
Smooth John. Really smooth Challenge 5 
TheKawaiiLen Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2015
thatonefobfan Featured By Owner May 30, 2015
I dropped my water glass at the last line

Luckily, I have carpeting
michellemochella Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
LOL i laughed so hard at "Can i at least float you up to the bedroom?"  i mean, just imagine a crown of people in a room and two people floating ontop of them it would look so funny XD
CamiatheSamel Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015
"Can I at least float you up to the bedroom?"
Smooth, John, smooth
FeartheHedgehog101 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
"John you can't just go around doing the windy thing whenever you want." EXPLINATION AS TO WHY HIS LIPS DONT HAVE A TASTE!!! ((this reader-Chan has got dis))
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015
For a secound i though he was gonna blow wind up her shirt or something
toxicflare666 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
XD Egbert you can't just use the windy thing anywhere! save it for the fanfiction!
red719 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
Sorry Egderp, not sure if you're aware but there's this thing called 'asexuality'
MayanCreature Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Soooo Cute..Onion Oh, Egderp!
ZaniZannaDragonQueen Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015
that ending line thou cx loved it~!!

John: "Can I at least float you up to the bedroom?”            
kawaiiCaliGirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Professional General Artist
why is every writer on this site so damn smooth?! lol
ImFantabulous109 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014
That last line tho! Smooth, John, smooth.
Amberpelt7 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Student General Artist
When it said "stop I can hardly breathe" I thought 'I'm pretty sure john can help you with that reader-chan ;P'
PeaceLuvLife Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh, gosh! So true!
Amberpelt7 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  Student General Artist
>w< I'll be honest I forgot I made that comment XD
PeaceLuvLife Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Student General Artist
He he…well, we all forget things, right?
Justdontaskmewhy Featured By Owner Edited Sep 2, 2014  Student Writer
*Dives face first into the carpet*
Do the windy thing, bro.
*Brother gets up and races to his room to get that John Egbert God Tier cosplay.*

Brother:APH Prussia tackle hug 
HetalianNexhi Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Student Digital Artist
that made me laugh way too hard
SkyBlue008 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student General Artist
I still can't get over the 'Egderp' EasyToon ROFL
isslyss Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i threw my phone across the room and the screen has a baby crack (ive got a back up thank god) and im dying from lack of air because i'm laughing and i fucking blame it all on you dude like I just screamed "damn" and i started laughing dont even that was so smooth wow
Hawkfrost-Love Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
how the glub do you have a backup
isslyss Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
my dad has several :I 
Hawkfrost-Love Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
whoa :0
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
WinterAndSomeArtwork Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*sexual tension intensifies*
Madd-hatter00 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I will cherrish this icon forever!!!! XD
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Madd-hatter00 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ponies-And-Puppets Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
Thank you
its 4:13 in the morning
and i started laughing really hard at this
i woke up my neighbors
i not even joking
we both had our windows open
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
oh my gog 413
Ponies-And-Puppets Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014
i know right xD
JamiiSylvia Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
You totally beat me to that. I was going to do that. 
But, I applaud you Clap 
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you, fellow Deviant. BTW check out my webcam for another john eyebrow waggle... BUT MUCH CUTER.
JamiiSylvia Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
OMG He is just SOOOOO adorable :D
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yup :3
nerdyalicorn Featured By Owner May 31, 2014
that was an awesome pick-up line at the end.
babymama90 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014
Cute and funny~!
rosecat21 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I just read this listening to "Sex Yeah" by Marina and The Diamonds

I blushing cause my friend saw me read this and started laughing when she saw what i was listening to......"i think im gonna fangirl in a corner for a bit" was my only response xDD
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